Saturday, February 20, 2010

Trust in the process

"The whole point of woman-centered birth is the knowledge that a woman is the birth power source. She may need, and deserve, help, but in essence, she always had, currently has, and will have the power." -Heather McCue

Belly buttons are a funny thing. I used to love my belly button. I decided at age 19 to pierce it and a little jewel made its home in my belly button until I was pregnant with Julian. It never quite looked the same after having Julian and I doubt that it'll ever look the same again. Today I looked at my belly button's reflection and barely recognized the now belly button-turned-volcano sticking out of the center of my body. The baby is so low it almost points down. Julian loves my belly button. I think he thinks it's the baby, or some pathway to the baby (which, I guess, technically it is) and likes to kiss it, stroke it, and rest his head on it. Every morning he comes into our room, jumps into bed, and immediately goes for my belly button. "Hi," he says, as though he's been away for decades. After a few minutes of relentless love on my belly button, I say "that's enough" and explain to him that mommy's belly button hurts. We repeat this process multiple times throughout the day. I wonder if he'll understand when the baby is born that there is no longer a baby in mommy's tummy and he won't be mad when mommy's belly button no longer looks like a sun. "Sun," he says and signs to me when he sees my belly button. I love that my son is not afraid to kiss the sun. Makes sense, he is my little ray of light.

Today was my estimated due date. Since it's 8:30pm I doubt he's greeting planet Earth today but that's okay. As I sit here thinking about where we were 40 weeks ago (celebrating Julian's birthday a bit too much *wink wink*) and the journey since, I need to remind myself that we put out trust in the process back then and I need to trust in it now. I've been trying birth-inducing tricks the past few days (walking, spicy food, ankle massage, eggplant parm, pineapple) more out of experiment and jest than truly believing they'll make this little dude come out any sooner. I have to believe that he will come when he is ready because so far this pregnancy, the process hasn't failed us yet

The knowledge of how to give birth without outside interventions lies deep within each woman. Successful childbirth depends on an acceptance of the process." -Suzanne Arms

When did we, women, lose the ability to know? Last saturday my friends threw me a mother blessingway ceremony to send me some positive vibes as I prepare for my second entry into motherhood. It was a beautiful and balancing afternoon for me and I left Kathy's house feeling incredibly prepared- emotionally and physically- for the home birth of my second son. Almost everyone at the blessingway had home births themselves and I look to that group, my dear mother friends, for encouragement and support for my own experience. My friend and doula, Mary Beth, was there and her words of encouragement (among many) were the phrase, "mama knows." Mama knows about birth, her body, and her baby. But, I have to ask, when did we forget?

My last pregnancy I relinquished a lot of my power to "the experts." I read the books, listened to the endless advice, and ultimately gave over the womanly knowledge inside of me that I should have trusted and listened to the whole time. This time around, I didn't want to make the same mistake. I didn't want to quiet the voice inside me, instead I wanted to help it sing out loud and reclaim that which I lost. I feel that through this pregnancy I've accomplished that and while we wait these last few days for our son to make his arrival, I know I did everything I could do to have the pregnancy, and hopefully birth, that I want and deserve as a woman. Only time will tell now and I will rest tonight, patiently awaiting his arrival with my open heart.

Here is a photo my friend, Amanda, took at the blessingway. See the belly button? :)

Monday, February 8, 2010

Snow in the DC area

So for those of you not in the DC area and who have been hearing about our ridiculously snowy winter, I thought I'd post some photos of the storms from December 19, 2009 (so fondly named "Snowpocalypse"), January 30, 2010, and the most recent one, Snowmaggedon, from February 6, 2010. We are expecting another "winter event" tomorrow evening into wednesday that they are forecasting to drop about 10-20 inches of snow into the area, pushing our total snowfall this winter to be the all time high. It's insanity. Anyways, enjoy the photos, although they really don't capture the overwhelming amount of snow out there. To those of you in tropical areas, can you make some space for me on your couch for after this baby is born? We're on our way.....


Friday, February 5, 2010

unexpected revelations

Still pregnant for those of you wondering....due officially 2 weeks from tomorrow, and I guess we'll just see when this baby decides to make his grand entrance. I am praying it's not tonight or tomorrow as I just don't know if it would be auspicious for him to be born during Snowpocalypse. I figured it's a good time to put up a little posting since it's been a while and after Dos is born Lord knows when I'll have to time to post again so....

Julian has been awesome. Every morning he runs into the room, lifts up my shirt and says, "Hi" to the baby then gives my belly a big kiss. We are reading books about becoming a big brother as well as "We're having a home birth" which has rapidly become one of his most favorite books. His favorite page is when the mother is in labor and making motions like she's belly dancing.

He's been talking up a storm! Tonight we were in the kitchen and he started pulling the letters off the dishwasher- and informing Thad what they were! He named about 8 letters...totally unexpected. We've been singing songs with him while still using our signs. We've found if we omit saying the word but still do the sign, he will fill in the gap and say the word for us! He's also repeating just about everything we say (I still think it's adorable that he sometimes calls Thad "honey") so no more cursing in the Lurie household. ha.

We started attending a My Gym gymnastics class about a month ago and he LOVES it. He loves the balance beam, the rings, and of course, the slide. He loves dancing and singing the songs, and on our way there he starts signing "ball" to me referring to the ball pit.

Last saturday was my birthday and around 3am I rolled over in bed, stuck my hand under my pillow to fluff it up, and got a handful of mashed, stale banana. I almost screamed since I had no idea what it was but the smell was pretty obvious....I like to think that was very thoughtful of him for my midnight snacks, but unfortunately I think it was just a coincidence.

The move into his big boy room was a success and he loves it. We did have to shut his door fully after about 2 weeks when he figured out he could leave his room and visit us at 3 in the morning. He knows now that his old room is for baby brother and when he goes in there now I think he's looking for him! Soon enough, son, soon enough.

Here's a photo of our little dude playing in the snow last weekend with Scout. We'll see what kind of photos we get over the next few days!