As a follow-up before I get into the main topic of this post Julian returned to school today for his second day of preschool. I don't know if it's because he knows the kids better, or because I was assisting today, but I think he did great. The kids had a lot of fun on our walk (in the rain) and they even enjoyed the mango/banana/spinach smoothies that, I admit, I was skeptical about myself but it was quite yummy indeed. Next week we move to a new home for the month of October so I hope that Julian does okay. We'll see what happens! Thanks for all the supportive notes about his adjustment to preschool. I think he's going to do great once he knows what's expected of him and what the routine is.
So. Poop. People have asked how it is with two kids now and the big differences between Dash and Julian. Ultimately, it always comes back to poop. Julian was a frequent, daily pooper. Sometimes he'd do it on the changing table with no diaper on, sometimes he'd get it on mommy and daddy. Ultimately, though, his poop was not an issue in that it happened when it happened and we really didn't discuss it much. Dash, on the other hand, is the most infrequent pooper and it makes *me* uncomfortable when day 5, 6, and this past time, day 9 comes and goes without a poop. When he finally does let loose, well, let's just say he takes a good nap afterwards. I've had 7 months worth of conversations about poop.
Other than their bowel movements, it has been interesting to see just how different two little boys can be. I try very hard not to compare them, and I wonder if they were of opposite genders I wouldn't compare them as much, but so it goes. Dash is a very happy little baby but he has no problems with voicing his displeasure if he is not getting his way. When he does his scream/yell/battle cry/howl, Julian goes over to him and says, "It's okay Baby Dash," and then proceeds to serenade Dash with his own rendition of the Wiggles' "Toot Toot Chugga Chugga" where he replaces all the names of the Wiggles with the names of our family. "Julian's in the back seat, playing his guitar...." It's adorable.
I do fear that we are not as neurotic about his goings on the way we were about Julian, but I think that's what happens with a second child. We definitely don't have everything chronicled for him the way we did with Julian (as you can tell from our lack of postings since his birth) and I feel like we blinked and he's already 7 months old.
The nitty gritty update? He's over 18 lbs now and about 27 inches tall. He doesn't have any teeth yet, which is odd because I feel like he's been teething for months already. He is sitting up pretty reliably now although when he's tired he'll still do the backwards dive so there's usually a Boppy or some other cushion behind him to catch his fall. He is pushing himself up really well but not pulling forward yet, but I have a feeling it's not too far away. He's a rolly-polly for sure, more than Julian ever was, and does enjoy rolling his way across our bed. He sure does love to eat. He likes to eat whatever we are eating- corn, pancakes, quesadillas- and does his battle cry when we don't share. Eating out has become quite difficult juggling the two, that's for sure!
Ah, sleep. Blessed, sweet, and unattainable sleep. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a row, I think, since I was about 3 months pregnant with Dash, so...over a year? I am getting really tired of waking up at night but I am trying really hard to let him drive and let me know his needs. Julian inadvertently night-weaned when we moved him out of our bed when he was 8 months old and I am not entirely sure I'm ready for that to happen. We'll see, we'll see.
So that's my quick update before Dash wakes up for his 9:30 feeding. Life as a foursome has been wonderfully difficult at some points, but always wonderfully blissful. I love seeing Julian snuggle up on his little brother and I just love seeing the look on Dash's face when Julian comes to play. They are going to be great brothers and I am so glad they have each other. Daddy has his boys and mommy doesn't have to deal with pink overload. Life is good.
Family picture at the National Harbor, Labor Day weekend
I know, I know, I owe major postings here about life with two boys. Dash will already be 7 months old this wednesday. Seriously? 7 months? I swear he was just born last week. I will put a post up about Dash shortly, but for now, here's what happened for us today:
Tonight at dinner we talked about his first day of school. We asked him what he did today. His response? "Julian cried. Played with Whitney and Cora. Circle time." Those were some good take aways, I guess, after the emotional day we just had. Our day started pretty smoothly. He was up at 5:30am (pretty normal), we had some breakfast (his favorite: sausage) and I packed his lunch in his awesome Planet Box lunch box.
Stainless steel bento box lunch box. For lunch? Organic grapes, organic oven-roasted turkey sandwich on wheat bread, organic honey wheat pretzel sticks, some homemade banana chocolate bread, and 3 chocolate-covered marshmallows. What did he actually eat? The grapes, the pretzels, and the marshmallows. Go figure.Before we got in the car to go to Laurie's, I took the obligatory picture of his first day of school. He's wearing his new firetruck shirt, new shoes, and holding his brand new lunch box. All the way there in the car he was talking about Nemo's "first day of school." "Just like Nemo," he said. He was so excited! 
Our program is a pre-school cooperative with other families from the Holistic Moms Network of Northern Virginia. There are 7 families and we rotate houses by the month. This month Laurie is our fearless lead teacher and she has 2 other parents as assistant teachers. They started this program last year and we decided to give it a whirl this year since it's only one day a week and we'd still be able to do our regular playgroup, La Leche League meetings, and My Gym, leaving thursday as our only free day each week.
My plan during this glorious morning (weather-wise) was to go for a hike with another mom from the group, Kathy. Kathy is due next monday with #2 so we decided to take the dogs for a nice walk at Bull Run to help her get things moving. (No dice, she's still pregnant). Drop off didn't go as smooth as I had hoped it would, though. Julian basically dropped me at the cubbies to go and play so I took it as a good time to exit. I got to the car, started nursing Dash, and within a few minutes I could hear Julian crying, "you want mommy! you want mommy!" (He hasn't figured out "you" and "i" yet). I waited it out to see if I should go in, but the other moms coming in from dropping off their kiddos said I should wait outside. So I waited. Then Laurie's husband came outside and asked me to come in, so I went in to give Julian one last cuddle. He didn't want me to go and he was doing that hiccupping cry that is so desperately sad. The other kids were coming to pat his back and hug him, too. One of the assistants of the day, Paul, came over to try and show Julian his camera and bring him to play in the main room. Eventually Julian decided to go and play and I took my exit again. I was expecting to get a call that Julian threw up from crying so much but thankfully, no call ever came.
As a former preschool teacher today was especially hard because I've been on the side of the teacher many, many times but obviously I had never experienced it from the parent's side. I admit it, I was fighting back tears leaving my crying son. I've always known that Julian is sensitive and needs to know what's going on at all times. We are a very routine-oriented family and I know Julian finds tremendous comfort knowing that routine. A new day like today can be hard on these little guys and I've seen it many times before with other kids. I am so, so grateful that I was leaving him with fellow like-minded parents that I knew would treat Julian's emotions with the respect and patience that we do. That's a huge part of why we decided to try this coop in the first place. At the same time, though, Americans are so big on making sure our kids learn independence...making sure kids learn to take care of themselves as soon as possible, so part of me is trying very hard not to feel like an utter failure with a son who didn't want to leave his mommy.
Would it be better if he just took off running away from me and didn't look back? What does that say about our bond? Nothing, really, just that he's a more adventurous kid. Am I a failure because my son needs reassurance that everything is okay, needs to know that he's safe, and needed an extra-long cuddle to say goodbye? Probably not, he just needed to know mommy's still there. I mean, he's only TWO for crying out loud.
My hope is for my boys to grow up to be independent but they will always be mommy's little boys. I don't think today was as scarring to Julian as it was for mommy....he's already talking about going back to school next week. Luckily, I am assisting next week so me and Dash will be there for the morning, so I hope that will help with his transition.
Oh boy, what I mess I've been today. Just imagine when he goes off to kindergarten...it's going to be nuts!
Here's a picture of Dash since I don't want him to feel left out. Took this a month ago at the beach while we were waiting in line at 8:30 at night to get Ben & Jerry's. Julian loved it. :)
Last night at 1:15am I heard music coming from somewhere. I looked around the room and it was coming from Julian's monitor...apparently, he had gotten out of bed very quietly and turned on his sleepy music and went back to bed. I grabbed the monitor and shoved it into Thad's sleepy hand and said, "go check on him! there's music!" Sure enough, Julian was asleep on his back and his stereo was turned way up. So bizarre.
Thad asked him this morning if he had turned on his music last night and he said, "yes, julian cried, turned on music." I don't remember him crying last night but listening to his sleepy music at 1:45am in an otherwise quiet house was very, very odd.
Is 2 years old too young to sleep walk?
It's been 9 days since our newest little bundle has joined our family and we are still in awe of our amazing ability to grow life. He's fitting in nicely and Julian is taking more and more to him each day. Folks have asked so here's the explanation of his name:
Daschel- A name we all liked, especially Julian. When we ran a few choices past him this is the one he liked the best.
Braddock- The name of the main road where we live. We found it fitting since he was born at home.
Mitchell- Mitchell is Thad's grandfather, and also Thad's middle name. We found out we were pregnant the day that we found out he passed away....we found it fitting to honor him.
Without further ado, here is Daschel's birth story.....I'll get into what my care was like under a midwife and our decision to do a home birth after cesarean another time.
Sunday, the 21st, wasn't anything particularly crazy, just a normal day. After dinner we were in the living room and at 7:06pm I had my very first "real" contraction. It was enough that I turned to Thad and said, "ow, what the hell was that, it really hurt." We kinda took note of the time but went on with our evening, giving Julian a bath and putting him down for bed. In the 7 o'clock hour I had about 3 contractions, and in the 8 o'clock hour I had about 4. By 9 o'clock I was like, ok, these really hurt and are coming every 10 or so minutes now...should we call someone?! I spoke to a friend to get her opinion since her birth story was still fresh in my mind (she had a planned home birth but it turned into an unplanned unassisted birth since her baby came so quick and the midwives didn't get there in time) and where I didn't want to call the midwife too soon, I also didn't want to wait too long. After I got off the phone with her, we called our doula and our midwife and Marilee said she wanted to come over to "check things out." I was really nervous about her coming over because I didn't want her to come and this just be a false labor. We sent Scout to my mom's since he was whining at me and I had to work through the contractions enough that his whining was pissing me off royally. So off he went.
The midwives showed up at about 10 pm and my contractions at this point were every 5 minutes, lasting about 60 seconds long. They hunkered down on the couch and took my vitals, listened to baby, and we spent the next hour seeing how things were progressing. We called Mary Beth, too, and she decided to come over as well. I didn't truly believe I was in labor and it wasn't until we lit the birth candle and I finally posted on FB for my friends to light their candles that I thought 'this was it.'
The next couple hours are a bit hazy to me as far as the timing goes, but essentially my contractions went from 5 minutes apart to 4 minutes apart over the next hour and then finally down to 3 minutes apart. We labored in the living room and they had set up the birth supplies in the bedroom, but as the night continued more and more supplies were appearing in the living room. Soon I was stripping down my clothes and chux pads were appearing under me everywhere I moved in case my water broke. I labored most of the time on my hands and knees or standing on the stairs (having my legs at different levels really helped) but as my contractions got to 2-3 minutes apart, I felt like I needed a change. I knew he was coming down but I couldn't figure out a better position to be in, so my midwife recommended that I lean back on Thad. Once I got in the sit position leaning back, the baby dropped incredibly low and I had a feeling I could start pushing. I was really, really worried to push since I didn't know how dilated I was and Marilee doesn't check unless I ask. I figured that we still had hours of labor ahead of us so it would be premature to push. Well the position we were in in the living room was so uncomfortable that I couldn't square up my hips. My hips kept on tilting one way or the other thus the baby did too....so Marilee asked if I wanted to move upstairs on the bed to be more comfortable. We started a mad dash in between contractions up the stairs. Thad was bracing me for each contraction, Mary Beth was following me with a chux pad in case my water broke, Valerie (the midwife assistant) started shuttling birth supplies back up to the bedroom, and Marilee was talking me through each contraction. I distinctly remember someone saying to me, "when this one ends you have to move, pamela, to make it up the stairs before the next one." I don't think I walked so fast in my life, especially with a bowling ball literally between my legs.
We got into the bedroom, I laid on the bed, and I decided to have Marilee check me for dilation. Shoot, if I had hours more of this pain I had to be able to deal with my energy level, right? She checked me and very calmly said, "you are complete and the baby's head is right there." With that we began pushing around 3am. She said she could feel my bag of waters right in front of his head and I remember asking her if she needed extra clothes in case my water broke all over her. Next contraction, I beared down and my water literally popped everywhere- it sounded like a water balloon! At that his head really came down and we pushed through a few more contractions when the stretching was really kind of freaking me out Thad was being a great cheerleader, "with every push we see hair," "his head is right there!" I love him but gee, I know where his head was! There was a point where Marilee told me that she'd ask me to stop pushing so she could guide his head out slowly and when that moment hit, boy was that mean! Sure enough, though, down and out he came (cool note, my sacrum was so loosey-goosey that they said they could see it moving to let him out...props to chiropractic care during pregnancy) and at 3:33am our little boy was born. Daschel weighed in at 6 lbs 11 oz (2 lbs smaller than his big brother) and 20 1/2 inches long.
She placed him right on my chest and he was COVERED in vernix, a sign that he was early. Marilee said his gestational age was about 38 weeks which is just fine since this little dude is perfect. The placenta took over an hour to come out (it was posterior so I ended up having to sit on the birthing stool to get it out) and then I took a shower, got some stitches (which is why I was in bed for a few days to let them heal), and the newborn exam. Julian woke up just in time to see the newborn exam and check out the placenta (which is SO cool!). I'm still surprised he slept through all the ruckus.
By 6:30am everyone was headed home and Thad, baby, and I hunkered down in bed for a nice nap. Here we are, 9 days later and I am still on cloud 9 from our birth experience, and little Dash is napping on daddy's chest. My milk came in on day 2 and nursing (so far) has been a total breeze. Also, side note, all that eating well did me good...not only was Dash a great size, but I am only 2 lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. Granted, my belly needs some, um, toning, but damn, life is good.
Here is a photo right after he was born:
"The whole point of woman-centered birth is the knowledge that a woman is the birth power source. She may need, and deserve, help, but in essence, she always had, currently has, and will have the power." -Heather McCue
Belly buttons are a funny thing. I used to love my belly button. I decided at age 19 to pierce it and a little jewel made its home in my belly button until I was pregnant with Julian. It never quite looked the same after having Julian and I doubt that it'll ever look the same again. Today I looked at my belly button's reflection and barely recognized the now belly button-turned-volcano sticking out of the center of my body. The baby is so low it almost points down. Julian loves my belly button. I think he thinks it's the baby, or some pathway to the baby (which, I guess, technically it is) and likes to kiss it, stroke it, and rest his head on it. Every morning he comes into our room, jumps into bed, and immediately goes for my belly button. "Hi," he says, as though he's been away for decades. After a few minutes of relentless love on my belly button, I say "that's enough" and explain to him that mommy's belly button hurts. We repeat this process multiple times throughout the day. I wonder if he'll understand when the baby is born that there is no longer a baby in mommy's tummy and he won't be mad when mommy's belly button no longer looks like a sun. "Sun," he says and signs to me when he sees my belly button. I love that my son is not afraid to kiss the sun. Makes sense, he is my little ray of light.
Today was my estimated due date. Since it's 8:30pm I doubt he's greeting planet Earth today but that's okay. As I sit here thinking about where we were 40 weeks ago (celebrating Julian's birthday a bit too much *wink wink*) and the journey since, I need to remind myself that we put out trust in the process back then and I need to trust in it now. I've been trying birth-inducing tricks the past few days (walking, spicy food, ankle massage, eggplant parm, pineapple) more out of experiment and jest than truly believing they'll make this little dude come out any sooner. I have to believe that he will come when he is ready because so far this pregnancy, the process hasn't failed us yet
"The knowledge of how to give birth without outside interventions lies deep within each woman. Successful childbirth depends on an acceptance of the process." -Suzanne Arms
When did we, women, lose the ability to know? Last saturday my friends threw me a mother blessingway ceremony to send me some positive vibes as I prepare for my second entry into motherhood. It was a beautiful and balancing afternoon for me and I left Kathy's house feeling incredibly prepared- emotionally and physically- for the home birth of my second son. Almost everyone at the blessingway had home births themselves and I look to that group, my dear mother friends, for encouragement and support for my own experience. My friend and doula, Mary Beth, was there and her words of encouragement (among many) were the phrase, "mama knows." Mama knows about birth, her body, and her baby. But, I have to ask, when did we forget?
My last pregnancy I relinquished a lot of my power to "the experts." I read the books, listened to the endless advice, and ultimately gave over the womanly knowledge inside of me that I should have trusted and listened to the whole time. This time around, I didn't want to make the same mistake. I didn't want to quiet the voice inside me, instead I wanted to help it sing out loud and reclaim that which I lost. I feel that through this pregnancy I've accomplished that and while we wait these last few days for our son to make his arrival, I know I did everything I could do to have the pregnancy, and hopefully birth, that I want and deserve as a woman. Only time will tell now and I will rest tonight, patiently awaiting his arrival with my open heart.
Here is a photo my friend, Amanda, took at the blessingway. See the belly button? :)
So for those of you not in the DC area and who have been hearing about our ridiculously snowy winter, I thought I'd post some photos of the storms from December 19, 2009 (so fondly named "Snowpocalypse"), January 30, 2010, and the most recent one, Snowmaggedon, from February 6, 2010. We are expecting another "winter event" tomorrow evening into wednesday that they are forecasting to drop about 10-20 inches of snow into the area, pushing our total snowfall this winter to be the all time high. It's insanity. Anyways, enjoy the photos, although they really don't capture the overwhelming amount of snow out there. To those of you in tropical areas, can you make some space for me on your couch for after this baby is born? We're on our way.....
Still pregnant for those of you wondering....due officially 2 weeks from tomorrow, and I guess we'll just see when this baby decides to make his grand entrance. I am praying it's not tonight or tomorrow as I just don't know if it would be auspicious for him to be born during Snowpocalypse. I figured it's a good time to put up a little posting since it's been a while and after Dos is born Lord knows when I'll have to time to post again so....
Julian has been awesome. Every morning he runs into the room, lifts up my shirt and says, "Hi" to the baby then gives my belly a big kiss. We are reading books about becoming a big brother as well as "We're having a home birth" which has rapidly become one of his most favorite books. His favorite page is when the mother is in labor and making motions like she's belly dancing.
He's been talking up a storm! Tonight we were in the kitchen and he started pulling the letters off the dishwasher- and informing Thad what they were! He named about 8 letters...totally unexpected. We've been singing songs with him while still using our signs. We've found if we omit saying the word but still do the sign, he will fill in the gap and say the word for us! He's also repeating just about everything we say (I still think it's adorable that he sometimes calls Thad "honey") so no more cursing in the Lurie household. ha.
We started attending a My Gym gymnastics class about a month ago and he LOVES it. He loves the balance beam, the rings, and of course, the slide. He loves dancing and singing the songs, and on our way there he starts signing "ball" to me referring to the ball pit.
Last saturday was my birthday and around 3am I rolled over in bed, stuck my hand under my pillow to fluff it up, and got a handful of mashed, stale banana. I almost screamed since I had no idea what it was but the smell was pretty obvious....I like to think that was very thoughtful of him for my midnight snacks, but unfortunately I think it was just a coincidence.
The move into his big boy room was a success and he loves it. We did have to shut his door fully after about 2 weeks when he figured out he could leave his room and visit us at 3 in the morning. He knows now that his old room is for baby brother and when he goes in there now I think he's looking for him! Soon enough, son, soon enough.
Here's a photo of our little dude playing in the snow last weekend with Scout. We'll see what kind of photos we get over the next few days!
Family picture at the National Harbor, Labor Day weekend
