Catching up and Rock and roll camp

I can't believe I haven't posted in MONTHS but this summer is a big blur.  We were busy with field trips and barely getting through this pregnancy.  Dear childhood friends got married so we go to go to Staunton, VA and Virginia Beach for their blissful days.  We didn't get to go on any big summer vacations but Thad at least got to go on a few business trips to fun Indianapolis, Atlanta, and Dallas.  We had the big derecho storm in the beginning of July where we lost power (like most of the area!).  The following weekend we went to Chicago for my grandmother's funeral, sad affair but always a blessed reunion to see family out there.  With my cousins having babies, the boys have second cousins that I am so glad they will get to know.  Our goal is to go out to Chicago once a year if we can swing it!  The weekend after that Grandpa came down for a weekend visit.  *phew*  And that just got us through July!  I would post pictures of all these fun events but my laptop died and I haven't transferred any files yet to my new computer. 

August was nutso.  Fun news that I had 6 friends have babies in August so lots of fun baby news this past month! 

At the end of August Julian got to go to rock and roll camp.  I thought it would be a fun segue into preschool (which starts tomorrow) after being home with us everyday.  It was for 5 days at a place called Bach to Rock in Herndon, VA.  I was nervous that he would have a hard time being gone for 5 mornings in a row but for rock and roll, this kid was READY.  Every morning he was ready to get dressed and out the door, by the end of the week he was sitting on the couch by the shoes wearing his backpack, hat, and already had his shoes on by the time me and Dash were downstairs.  He got to learn about drums, rhythm, piano, recorder, violin, and of course his favorite, the electric guitar.  The camp was only 3 kids (ages 3.5-5) and the teacher was FABULOUS with the kids.  I couldn't recommend this program more!!  I know they have locations in MD, NY, and VA so if one is close to you, check it out.  They have programs for all ages of kids and its not a typical music school; they also teach DJing and mixing, and beyond. 

Without further ado, here is a video of their closing week 'concert.'  Enjoy!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Recipe: Caveman Cookies

Courtesy of Peas and Thank You.  Enjoy!!  If you are not used to working with almond flour, do take care to bake until set, don't watch until 'brown' otherwise they'll burn!  

Caveman Cookies

by Mama Pea

Prep Time: 5 min.

Cook Time: 12 min.

Keywords: blender bake snack dessert gluten-free soy-free vegan vegetarian Paleo cookie

Ingredients (16 cookies)

• 1 1/2 c. almond flour
• 2/3 c. almond butter or sunflower seed butter
• 1/2 c. honey or maple syrup
• 1 “flax” egg (1 T. ground flax + 3 T. water) or 1 organic egg
• 1/2 t. baking soda
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/2 t. vanilla extract
• 3/4 c. chocolate chips

Instructions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees. If using a flax egg, mix together and set aside.
• Combine almond flour, baking soda and salt in a bowl.
• In a separate bowl, cream almond or sunflower seed butter, honey or maple syrup, egg and vanilla.
• Add almond flour mixture gradually until a dough forms, then fold in chocolate chips.
• Scoop dough by the tablespoon onto a cookie sheet, spacing cookies at least an inch apart.
• Bake for 11-12 minutes or until set.
• Allow cookies to cool on pan for a minute or two before transferring to a cooling rack.

Reading List: 2011

I have decided to write down the books I read last year.  Fabulous reading and let me know if you have any questions about these reads!   Don't judge me from my reading of steamy romance novels...sometimes a girl's just gotta read something sexy!  


Non-Fiction
127 Hours by Aron Ralston 
Slaughterhouse by Gail Eisnitz
The Hangman's Daughter by Oliver Potzsch
Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand
Journey to the Edge of the Light by Cristina Nehring
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
Open by Andre Agassi
A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah
Shaken, Not Stirred by Tim Gunn
A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle
Unconditional Love by Alfie Kohn
Raising Happiness by Christine Carter
Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne
Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman
Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
Loving What Is by Bryon Katie


Fiction
Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon

Two Step Temptation by Emma Jay
Laird of the Mist by Paula Quinn
Unlocked by Courtney Milan 
The Reiver by Jackie Barbosa
Eye of the Beholder by Emma Jay 
Twelve by Twelve by William Powers 

A Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss
Wise Man's Fear by Patrick Rothfuss
Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb

Recipe: Creamy Pumpkin-Peanut Soup

I got this recipe from Women's Health magazine, October 2011 issue.  I've made it multiple times since then and to make it vegan I replace the chicken broth with veggie broth and leave out the sour cream.  I did try it with sour cream and without and I will say, the little dollop of sour cream really does make the texture *that* much better but it's up to you.  I hear the vegan version of sour cream is amazing.  Best of all, this whole soup is done within 30 minutes.  If you do Weight Watchers, I worked out the points for this to be about 4 points per 1/2 cup of soup.  Enjoy! 


Creamy Pumpkin-Peanut Soup
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cooking Time: 20 minutes 


Ingredients:
2 tsp vegetable oil
1 small onion, chopped (1 1/4 cups)
3 cloves garlic, smashed
1/4 tsp ground turmeric
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp chili pepper flakes
1 can solid packed pumpkin puree (15 oz)
1 1/2 cups low sodium chicken or veggie broth
1 jar roasted red peppers (7 oz) drained, 1 tablespoon chopped and reserved for garnish
1/2 cup smooth reduced fat natural peanut butter
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice 
1/4 cup reduced-fat sour cream
2 Tbsp chopped roasted peanuts
2 Tbsp chopped scallion greens


1.  Heat oil in a 4-qt saucepan over medium-high heat.  Add onion and cook, stirring, until golden, about 10 minutes.  Add garlic and cook an additional 2 minutes.  
2.  Add turmeric, paprika, and chili flakes; stir.  Add pumpkin puree, broth, peppers, and peanut butter; whisk to incorporate and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat, simmer for 5 minutes, then stir in sugar, salt, pepper, and lemon juice.
3.  Transfer to a blender or food processor and blend until smooth.  Divide among 4 bowls and garnish with sour cream, peanuts, chopped reserved red peppers, and scallion greens.


Makes 4 servings of 1 cup.  Per serving:  270 cal, 18 g fat, 22 g carbs, 450 mg sodium, 4 g fiber, 10 g protein.

What. A. Month.

I'm not sure when it became the third week of December, but here we are.  A brief update from the past few weeks:


Our First Thanksgiving
We got a turkey from a local farm - picked it up, freshly processed and never frozen - the weekend before the big day.  My mom and Jack were scheduled to leave for the Philippines for my cousin's wedding on Thanksgiving day and Terri was still in New Zealand so Thad, my brother, and I hosted Turkey Day for the first time.  We invited some family friends so all told we had 9 adults and 9 kids over for dinner.  Thank you to the Batts, their friends from Alabama, and the Doughertys (regular DeGuia/Lurie Thanksgiving celebrators) for joining us for an amazing night.   Here is a picture from our point of view at the end of the table:  

We moved all the furniture out of the living room and lined up tables with food and chairs and it turned out to be an amazing feast.  Thad's first experience in cooking a turkey didn't turn out the way he had hoped (the brining made it super salty) but there's a first time for everything, right?  Cooking a 20+ pounder for a first time may have been ambitious but I think he did a great job.  After packing 8 leftover boxes and doing multiple loads through the dishwasher, we put our feet up and celebrated a first Thanksgiving in our new house a success.


ARUBA
More to come on our first family vacation in 2 years....here's a teaser photo: 

The Return of Mamo
Four hours before we returned from Aruba, Terri returned from her 3-month trip to New Zealand.  It's taken some adjustment having her home on all sides but it's great to have her back and the boys were SUPER excited to see her.  They still are; Mamo is back and the boys love having another playmate around.  Thad and I aren't complaining either...we are getting back into a workout groove being able to escape at night to the gym after the boys get to bed.  What a big help! If you want to check out Terri's adventures while she was away, check out her blog and all the work they did on Heather and Mike's homestead: http://t-notasausage.blogspot.com/.


Returning to Training
I decided that I've been milking this "being out of shape because I have little kids" business and signed up for my 7th Team in Training event.  We started training 2 weeks ago for the Rock 'n Roll Half marathon in DC in March.  I am very excited - but incredibly nervous - to be back in the TNT family and have the responsibility of not only training for a race again but also fundraising.  The cause is far too important for me to NOT participate so here I am again, continuing our fight to find a cure for blood related cancers.  I will be posting my fundraising site sometime over the next couple of weeks and my goal is to raise $1000 before the race.  GO TEAM!!! 


and our most recent family event....


10 Years later

This past sunday was 10 years since we lost my dad.  10 years, a husband, 2 children, and a home that have all missed my father's presence.  This time of the year is always hard for us but this year even more so because landmark years are always hard.  To commemorate my father and bring together family, we hosted a party on saturday for our family and friends.  I'm so grateful that we can all get together and enjoy my dad's memory, as well as share stories around my husband and kids.  I think I need them to hear the stories probably more so they need to hear them, you know?  Here's a group shot, the best I could do with the lighting.  Thank you to everyone who came; you all hold a special place in my heart and in the DeGuia family's hearts.  My dad is smiling upon all of us.

 

So that brings me to the week before Christmas and we've been enjoying the decorations and lights.  The boys are getting more and more aware of everything going on and Julian has been singing "Holly Jolly Christmas" nonstop.  Unfortunately the little guy was diagnosed with Strep throat this afternoon which means it'll probably pass through the house before we know it.  Last Christmas all 4 of us had the flu over the vacation week and we are determined not to let that happen again this year.  Send some good health vibes this way, pretty please!  

Thanks for getting this far....this has been a hell of a month and it's not even over yet!!!  

Happy birthday, Mamo!!

Our dear Mamo is still in New Zealand and today is her birthday so here is how we celebrated for her!  Chocolate Pumpkin muffins and a song.  Happy birthday, Mamo, and see you in a few weeks!  

Halloween 2011

I LOVE FALL.  Love the leaves, the festivities....corn mazes, pumpkin patches, and apple orchards.  Really, I don't think I could ever live somewhere that didn't have Autumn festivities.

Last year Julian was very aware and interested in all the decorations but this year he was SO into it!  I made the mistake of bringing he and Dash to Party City with me to choose decorations but the mature decorations were too intense for my little guys.  I went back without them to choose G-rated decorations and the boys LOVED helping us hang up the pumpkins, ghosts, and of course, silhouettes.  We totally flaked on making jack-o-lanterns this year...oops.  Does that make this Halloween incomplete? 

We went to a Halloween party last weekend at a friend's house and while Dash was okay wearing his lion hand-me-down costume, Julian wasn't big on wearing the actual costume but just the pirate hat.  He loved seeing all the costumes but I think he was still a little confused with them.   Dash didn't seem phased at all seeing all the different costumes but after that party he has refused to wear the costume until trick or treating tonight. 

 

This past weekend was supposed to be a weekend of festivities but we were snowed out on saturday.  Here is a picture of grandma's car with the slushy stuff.  It wasn't enough to impact traffic or anything but it definitely bumped the outdoor plans we had for that day.  We thought about going to the Air & Scare at the Air & Space Museum but apparently everyone had a similar idea because there was a line to PARK it was so busy.  Glad we didn't end up going.  

 

So instead of battling with the crowds we stayed inside, made play-doh zombies coming out of the ground (table) and had fun with costumes.

Peek a....

Boo! 

Last night we attended the Holistic Moms Network Annual Halloween Party and despite the cold and arriving very late to the event, it was a lot of fun!  We arrived too late for the pumpkin decorating and bobbing for apples, but we did enjoy the yummy food and company nonetheless.  Plus I got to hold a 2-week old baby so it was great night. 

I also love that with little ones they get plenty of opportunities to wear costumes between parties, class celebrations, and the actual night of Halloween.  Julian changed his mind constantly about what to be - witch, knight, pirate - and eventually settled on being a vampire because he wanted to wear my cape (I was a vampire at the party last weekend).  We went to my mother's for dinner and trick or treating since her neighborhood has a ton of little kids and the houses are closer together.  Plus, I knew that my brother and mom wanted to celebrate with the boys, too, so it was a fabulous night.  

Truly, tonight was one of those nights that I dreamed about when I had children of my own.  The boys were so excited about going door to door, they were polite, didn't take too much, and they loved seeing all the decorations.  They each got to eat one candy when we got back to my mom's (M&M's and a mini-Snickers) and they surprisingly stayed awake for the drive home.  It was such a dream of a night and I am so grateful to have my family to celebrate with us.  

Getting ready

My vampire

my lion

Julian's billowing cape

About to knock...

Getting their loot!

 

Winston Playce open for business!!

A brain-child of daddy, we turned our playroom into a soft play room for the boys to play over the Labor Day weekend in September. "Just like My Gym!" is what Julian said as he ran into it for the first time.  Since then it has become a hit in our house and the boys - and their little friends - just LOVE it.  We are hoping to add onto the room for Christmas.  Grandma hasn't had a chance to see the room so here are some very belated pictures of the new romping room.  Folks with kiddos, you are welcome anytime!  Favorite thing to do in the room?  Obstacle courses! 

Family Music Class

We decided not to put Julian in preschool this fall and find activities to do as a family instead.  It was a hard decision as we really enjoyed our home school preschool coop last year and thought we would continue that this year, but between our Bradley playgroup that still meets weekly (since January 2008) plus my La Leche League leader commitments, we wanted to find something that we could do together as a family with minimal expectations. I did a little research and we enrolled for family swim classes through the county Parks system and a Music Together class which we started in September.

As you know, Julian has music in his bones and I really wanted a class that would teach him more about music than we do at home.  Another big bonus of the class is that it's age appropriate for both Julian AND Dash and finding a class for both of them plus mommy isn't always easy, or at least, convenient.  A friend of mine took a Music Together class with her daughter who is Julian's age and gave them a glowing review so we were very excited to start.

The class has been AWESOME.  The music caught on quickly and it has rapidly become a regular part of our CD rotation in the van.  (Also on our rotation are the Wiggles, Rocknoceros, and some Julian-selected 'rock and roll').  Daddy has also gotten in on the action at home.  Since he can't come to class with us, he learned the music to play it on the guitar so we can sing the songs together at home.  Truly, it's been a fabulous experience.

If you haven't heard of Music Together before, it has a set of songs that are geared to how children hear and learn.  The music focuses on tonal intervals consistent with how children begin to talk.  Some of the songs are familiar while some are new to us so that has kept the kids quite entertained.  They have a different set of songs for each session of the year, with the summer session being "Song Favorites."  Apparently you can take a Music Together class for three years straight and never hear the same song twice.  Amazing, right?  They know their stuff for sure! 

Recipe: Italian Bean & Squash Soup

As some of you have seen on Facebook, we have been cooking up a STORM around here lately. After we watched Forks Over Knives, Thad has been much more open to trying a more plant-based diet.  I've been a vegetarian on and off since I was about 15 and when we met, I was eating veggie when Thad and I met 7 years ago.  He's always been supportive of my eating preference but despite my vegan/veggie books I leave laying around hasn't embraced it as much as I would have hoped.  Now, though, he's more open and I am so grateful that we can share in this journey together.  I think that how we eat, like everything else in life, is a journey.  How we choose to feed ourselves - both body and soul - is fluid and evolves.  I've decided that I am going to post successful recipes here for you all to enjoy, too, because while I wish I could share these meals with you in person, that isn't always so easy.  So enjoy and let me know what works for you, too!  Here is tonight's meal, courtesy of Moosewood Restaurant New Classics.


Italian Bean & Squash Soup


Services 6-8
Total Time: 30-40 minutes


Ingredients:
1 T olive oil
3 1/2 cups finely chopped onions
6 large garlic cloves, minced or pressed
1 celery stalk, preferably with some leaves, finely chopped
1 3/4 cups crushed canned tomatoes with their juice (15 oz can)
1 qt vegetable broth
1 t dried oregano
pinch of crushed red pepper flakes
4 c diced peeled butternut squash
3 1/2 cups cooked pinto beans (two 15-oz cans, rinced and drained)
1 t salt
coarsely ground black pepper to taste
freshly grated Pecorino cheese (optional)


In a large nonreactive soup pot, heat the oil on medium heat.  Add the onions, garlic, and celery and saute until softened, about 10 minutes.  Add the crushed tomatoes, broth, oregano, and red pepper flakes and bring to a simmer.  Stir in the squash and cook until tender, 10-15 minutes.  Add the beans and salt and continue to cook until the beans are thoroughly heated.  Add black pepper to taste.  Serve hot topped with freshly grated cheese, if desired.

Abbey Road on the River

Another bonus of living in the DC area? Abbey Road on the River, of course! We promised Julian the Beatles and we provided....but honestly, I think we should wait until later years when we don't have to juggle naps and bedtimes so we can stay and enjoy the music longer. It's an annual festival- the largest Beatles-inspired festival in the country, apparently- and the boys were so excited to hear the music live! Unfortunately, the band that we ended up catching was playing 60's music so they played not only Beatles but ELO and the Temptations, but the boys still enjoyed it. Ask Julian what he thought, he'll say it was too loud. Go figure. Ask Dash what he thought, and he'll say it was stinkin' hot out. But regardless, it was a good experience for us but I don't think we'll be returning to the festival until the boys have a longer attention span!

Swimmin' and Diggin'

Grandma took off for her annual trip to New Zealand this week. She'll be gone until almost Christmastime and I told her I'd maintain our blog much better so she can see what's going on around here, so, here goes...

What a week it's been since she left! It's a transition for everyone having Mamo gone so I kept us very busy so the boys wouldn't be too sad. On wednesday we went to our Holistic Moms Network playgroup at a local park in Centreville. It was a lot of fun seeing the other moms that I know, mostly, from online posts in our local chat group. This is the same group with which we did the homeschool preschool last year and I know Julian has missed seeing his classmates this summer.

On thursday we visited Grandma Joy for a pool trip! The boys haven't been to the pool nearly as much this summer as we did in past summers since our neighborhood does not have a pool. We miss our KPW neighbors so much! Julian is not the most ... adventurous child and he hates having his face wet so the pool has always been a minor challenge. Daschel, on the other hand, is a 'do-first-think-later- kind of kid so we have to keep an eye on him in the big pool. Grandma Joy is AWESOME with swimming and kids so by the time we were done playing with her last time she had Julian floating on his back (with help) and kicking in the big pool! I'm sad we didn't get to the pool with her more this summer but hopefully next year we'll be able to do it more often.

Yesterday we headed to our farm for its annual Pancake Breakfast and Potato Dig. The thunder didn't stop us, oh no, from heading to the fields to dig up our 10+ pounds of potatoes! Julian really liked helping daddy find the potatoes! We joined this farm last year as a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) member wherein we get a weekly delivery of farm-fresh veggies and fruit plus free entry to the farm for our own picking and play. The boys love to play and visit the animals. Our first trip to the farm was when Julian was almost 2 and Dash was only about 6 weeks old and we've gone back regularly since. This has been a fabulous experience for our family and I am so grateful for the boys to see where food comes from. They've picked their own strawberries, blueberries, peaches, and now potatoes and we can't wait for fall picking with apples and pears! Funny note, we ran into the parents of a classmate from high school. Robinson families are everywhere!

Taking a moment

I have started so many postings that never got posted and I figured it's time to at least check in. I am hoping to keep up with the blog better after Grandma leaves for her New Zealand adventure next week since it'll probably be the best way (other than Skype) to keep up with the going ons of our little family.

When I started this blog before Julian was born, I figured it'd be a good way to pass around what's happening here for our family and friends far away. The more and more time passes, I realize that I think this blog is more for my own journal of our family so that we have something to look back on and remember it all. Although, thank God for digital photos, too. :) That said, I want to chronicle something that happened yesterday.

We went to breakfast at our favorite breakfast place, Le Pain Quotidien, in Clarendon. We try to get out there about once a month but this summer has been so busy I don't think we've been there since at least May, if not April. Anyways, we went and then after breakfast we decided to go to Roosevelt Island for a little nature walk before the hurricane hit. On our way to the island we were driving past Arlington Cemetery and since today would have been my dad's 59th birthday, I wanted to stop and visit with the family.

Julian and Dash had been there before but it was colder out and the fountain wasn't running. This time the fountain was running and they were ready to jump in! It didn't help that the day before we went to the Fountain at Fairfax Corner so they were fresh off of a public fountain frolicking. After explaining to them that this fountain is not appropriate for swimming, we walked over to my dad's location. Arlington National Cemetery is a beautiful cemetery and I am very pleased with how they maintain the space.

We got to my dad's spot and here is what happened:

Me: Julian, tomorrow would be grandpa's birthday. Do you want to sing to him? He would love it.

Julian: *points to grave stone* Is he in there?

Me: Yes.

Julian: But he can't come out and say "yay!"?

Me: No, he can't, but mommy and daddy will clap for you.

Julian proceeded to sing happy birthday to my father and, with tears, I clapped and hugged him. I haven't known how to explain to him and Dash that they can't meet my father. I never met my mother's father, either, as he passed away a year before I was born, but I never felt disconnected to him. Through my mom's stories of him I never felt the gaping hole that I'm sure my mother felt with his absence. I just assumed that my stories of my father would fill whatever hole or gap that my boys may feel without my father being here, but here I am and I realize that whatever story I tell them or whatever pictures I show them, I'll never quite be able to express just how beautiful a person he was, or just how much he meant to me.

I'd give anything in the whole world to have my father meet my family. I can only hope that by keeping him as a verbal part of our life, and by having somewhere concrete to visit that is 'my father's space' that the boys can see, they'll understand that while he may not be here, he's out there somewhere loving them as much as I do.

drive by posting

We are sitting downstairs watching "So You Think You Can Dance" and we hear, 'I want to come and watch this, it looks funny, you know,' come from around the corner. Julian decided to come by and say hello despite needing to be in bed at this very late hour for a toddler. Thad just brought him back up but I wanted to share a little story from my evening tonight.

Julian and I were sharing a quick cuddle in the kitchen just after dinner. I sang a little song to him that I've sang to him since he was a baby, a special Julian song that we share together. He looked up at me, smile, and sang the song back to me but switched out his name for 'mommy.' He's never done this before, not so sincerely or as genuinely as he did tonight. It made me cry. One of those perfect mommy moments that I hope to keep tucked away in my memory forever (which is one of the reasons I have this blog).

Thank you, Julian, for teaching me about unconditional love. And thank you for sharing your laughter with me. .... Now go back to bed and, if you could, please sleep past 5am? Thank you. :)

The little house that love built

Today was the day. It was inevitable as we’ve been battling the real estate market for what feels like forever. Our decision to purchase another home prior to selling our townhouse was the best decision we ever could have made but gee, it was a gamble. For all we knew we could have ended up sitting with double mortgages for months before our townhouse sold but in the end our lovely home was picked up after only 5 days on the market (this time around). Third time’s a charm, right? We had put our house on the market back in 2006 for a hot second (literally only about 4-6 weeks) just “to see” if it would be scooped up. Obviously it wasn’t and we decided not to deal with the “keeping-the-whole-house-clean” thing unless we absolutely had to. Then there was last year. I wouldn’t wish what we did upon my worst enemy and I can’t believe Dash spent his first few months on planet Earth dealing with the stress of having the house on the market. What were we thinking?! In the end, our dream house became available and our house was picked up by a lovely woman that, if given the opportunity, I’d love to be her friend.

So there Thad and I were this weekend doing our final sweep through the old house and I found myself in tears standing in the foyer, thinking about the last almost 7 years of my life. In spring of 2004 my lease was ending at what has famously been referred to as “Cedar House” and I needed to make some decisions about what I was going to do. Was I going to stay with IBM? Travel? Go back to school? It is the dreaded question for any 20-something: “what are you going to do with your life?” My mom and I figured that if I was ever to go back for a Master’s degree my job would hopefully pay for it. Real estate at the time was the best place to invest some money, so that was where we went. We found this house with my agent not long after it had been on the market and we scooped it up very quickly. It wasn’t going to be available until August so we did a rent back after closing in June and I lived with my mom for the overlapping months.

Thad and I met the night before I moved into this house so as far as I’m concerned, he’s always been a part of it. My friend, Shannon, helped me move in and my friend, Melisa, helped me put my IKEA tables together. I mean, really, did someone really say it was okay for this 22-year old to own a house? Apparently so and I loved it. A 4-bedroom house was a big bit for me on my own so the first year in the house was spent with some lovely roommates. There was Scott and Levi, both of whom I found on roommates.com. My mom wasn’t big on me living with perfect strangers who are men that I found on a website but after background checks and some leases drawn up, my mom figured I had to figure things out on my own. Scott was awesome. He lived with me for a year and he was the best roommate. He was quiet, he kept to himself, and he has the best sense of humor. He moved out in September 2005 right before Thad moved in. Levi was not awesome. He was evicted after approximately 5 months of living together. He was stressful, inconsiderate, and he bit one of my friends. Yup, you read that correctly: he bit her. After Levi moved out in spring of 2005 my good friend from college, Lauren, moved in and was with us in the house until Thad and I got engaged in the fall of 2006. Even though she’s moved into her own apartment in Arlington now, we still say that she can live with us anytime she wants.

Most of all, the house was the stage for the evolution of my relationship with Thad and truly the first home we ever had. On our third date Thad and I laid on the carpet in my very empty house and listened to music for hours. After Thad moved in October 2005, a month later we got 2 kittens and a puppy. Oh boy did we get ourselves into a big mess. Neither of us had any idea how to care for a puppy and the kittens were 2 furry mysteries to me as I had never had cats before either. Poor Lauren had to deal with crying kittens at her door the first week they were here and a barking dog that didn’t know where to poop…oh, the mess.

In the fall of 2006 we got engaged and three weeks later got married with a justice of the peace in the City of Fairfax. Our post-marriage celebration was spent standing around our kitchen island with my brother, Thad’s sister, and her then-boyfriend-now-husband over beers and crackers. In the fall of 2007 we got pregnant with our first little bundle and over the next couple years settled in even more to our home together. In the spring of 2008 his mom moved in with us for what we thought was a temporary arrangement but has evolved into a long-term plan. We are so grateful to have a multi-generational home in a place where it isn’t common anymore. We were especially grateful to have help within walking distance from both of our moms after our second little bundle arrived in the spring of 2010 in our master bedroom.

As I walked around the empty townhouse on Sunday afternoon I could see the faint pictures of events past: House parties with friends and that time that a friend spilled a cranberry-vodka on my white carpet. Drunk stair sliding on slippery pants. The time when I hosted a big Filipino food party and I had friends all over the house chowing down on pancit, watching a Filipino movie, and drinking beers in the backyard. Making Halloween costumes with my girlfriends for a weekend of back-to-back costume parties. Unwrapping wedding gifts with Thad and being surrounded by white boxes, greeting cards, and oodles of love from our family and friends. Painting what would be Julian’s room a Winnie-the-Pooh yellow and wondering how our lives would change with his arrival. Taking a pregnancy test and walking through the house to show Thad the proof that our little family was indeed growing. Laboring in my living room surrounded by my amazing birth team and cursing at whoever put so many stairs in my house. Welcoming our son at the foot of our bed with our other son asleep down the hall. Watching my boys cuddle on the couch on Christmas morning….

In the book that I am reading right now the main character talks a lot about houses and homes. He comes from a nomadic people and he says a couple of times that a house is like a shoe. If it’s too big, it will slide and chafe. If it’s too small, it’ll squeeze and blister. While I hate to think that we left the townhouse because we had outgrown it, it’s the truth of the matter. It is, though, forever be a perfect home to me. And so it is. The little house that love built will live in my heart forever and I am glad that another family can enjoy the space as much as we did. They may not know where all the dings on the walls came from, or about the flood we had in the basement, or how Julian learned to walk on those floors, but that’s okay. I am grateful to the house for being our home.

A year old...when did that happen?

Not sure when it happened but a year has passed since our little dude joined our family. I feel like I was just waddling around IKEA yesterday waiting for his arrival. We got home from IKEA about 2 hours before I went into labor. Consequently, we went to IKEA today, too. I had this great plan to chronicle what life has been like as a family of four- well, in greater detail than I have- but, alas, I guess this is what happens when you add another child into the mix. Kudos to anyone who can maintain a blog better than I have.

Not gonna lie, those first 3 months were rocky and crazy. It probably didn't help things when we decided to put the house on the market for three months. Come to think of it, since Dash's birth it has been a non-stop crazy train ride for us. Perhaps it's a testament to the presence that he has created in our lives....the kid is a bulldozer and I say that with lots of love. He's a loud, playful, crawling, toothless wonder with lots of energy and a very devilish smile...I wonder where
he got it from?

He and Julian are BEST buds and we are so excited to see just how much fun they have together. Julian is so kind with Dash. He watches over him to make sure he doesn't play with toys that are not safe for him and makes sure to take them away and replace them with toys that are safe. It's so helpful to have a watchful big brother around!! He even makes sure Dash doesn't crawl towards the stairs. If Dash does, Julian goes, "No Dash, don't go to the stairs!" and runs and gives Dash a big bear hug and lays on top of him to make sure he doesn't go anywhere. ( I'm really glad we only have one staircase in the new house. :)) A big part of our motivation to have another child was to give Julian a sibling and after seeing them together over this past year, I am so grateful that they have each other. Where Julian is a sensitive, relatively calm, and pensive child, Daschel is proving himself to be a tasmanian devil and we are excited to see what kind of personality comes out of him as he gets older.

So happy birthday to my little rogue, my little devil. It's been an awesome year getting to know you and I am excited to see what this next year has to offer. Here he is enjoying his first ever sweet treat today. See anything funny about this picture? ;) Happy birthday, chuck!

Catching up

Family picture taken at the Abby's Lane (cloth diaper store) grand opening in Manassas

Holy cow, has it really been over a month since I wrote last?! Time has flown by....time to catch up:

-Thad's new job. He started the first week of December at his new company, American Wind Energy Association, as their Director of Strategic Technology Services. He had been with his previous employer for just over 5 years and the change has invigorated him. He's very busy but I think he's happy there. Not only was the work change needed, but I think working for a cause like wind power is very cool. We came up with a really cool wind ad for next year's Super Bowl...how cool if it made it that far!

-"Okay, germs, you can go away now...." Sickness. Two days before Christmas we all got sick with the flu. First my mom, then me, then Dash and Thad on Christmas day, then Julian the day after Christmas. Between respiratory flu, then suspected food poisoning/stomach flu, and colds, the whole house felt better for a hot second at the end of January but now we're back into a cold with me and Dash. Gosh I can't wait until warm weather and we can run around outside again and open the windows!!!

Attempting to make dinner....right before Julian threw up all over the kitchen.

-My birthday. For my 29th birthday, my husband brought me to this amazing Belgian restaurant in Old Town Alexandria. If you are ever in the area and in search of a delicious dinner with amazing service, check out Brabo. 10 points if you can tell me where the name comes from....hint, the chef's parents are from Antwerp. It was a wonderful night out and very needed, it was our first date since right before Dash was born almost a year ago.

-New house. You heard that right. In the middle of the holidays and a job change, we bought a new house! We closed on the 28th so just in time for my birthday (between my minivan last year for our anniversary and our house this year for my birthday, Thad has a lot to live up to next year *wink*) and we are moving in officially on the 19th of February, just in time for Dash's first birthday. We didn't want to book movers for Jan in case we had snow, which we did, so this gives us a couple week buffer to pack up the townhouse and then move in. Hopefully our townhouse will be on the market the first week of March. Anyone want a townhouse in Fairfax? If you do, let me know!!! We've got a nice one for you!!

Lessons from my father

This time of the year is always hard for me. The holidays have been dappled with losses throughout my life and nine years ago tomorrow was the biggest loss of all. I realized today that a lot of the people who have become my closest friends over the past few years never met my hero, my father, so I decided to put together this small list of lessons that I was lucky to learn from him. I hope you enjoy the read.

Music is more than just notes.

My earliest memories of music are of sifting through my father’s records, curled up next to the record player, clutching Frank Sinatra’s Greatest Hits (http://www.sevensidedcube.net/wp-content/uploads/Frank-Sinatra-Frank-Sinatras-Gr-426390.jpg) and listening to “Strangers in the Night” on repeat. Whenever I hear ol’ blue eyes sing “My Way” I still get teary eyed as that was my dad’s favorite karaoke tune (and boy did he love karaoke). At Christmas time I pulled out his cassette tapes of Perry Como and Johnny Mathis singing Christmas carols. My dad was always big on knowing more about the music than just the singer and that’s something I still look into today. When the radio still had an oldies station he would quiz me and my brother on the songs that played. “Who is this? Is this the original or a cover? What year was it? What album was it on?” And so forth. He was really excited when Forrest Gump came out because the music throughout that movie could have been my dad’s life soundtrack, too. He loved telling me stories about songs and it seemed like just about every song we heard had a story. “This was played at my 6^th grade dance…” A big reason why I keep my XM subscription is because of Channel 6, and whenever we go to the Silver Diner every song I hear has a memory attached to my father. Now that Julian is obsessed with the Beatles, I am so grateful to share my dad’s passion for music with him.

If you see something you want (or in his case, someone), go after it with reckless abandon.

If you ever saw my parents together you knew they had a special relationship; a love story that any young girl could only dream of finding someday. I heard the story a million times. Here is the short version: He was a junior in college. She was a freshman running for class office. She walked into his science class one day to hand out campaign materials. She was wearing a peach fuzzy sweater, jean shorts, and platform shoes. He took one look at her and knew, “She is going to be my wife.” From that moment on he pursued her- followed her to her dorm, followed her to class, sent his frat recruits to carry her books for her. She would not relent. They were both in their own relationships which makes this story even more scandalous because he wanted her. She knew his reputation and she was *such* a goody-goody (still is). The government proclaimed martial law and everyone went home from school to their provinces, and while they were away boy and girl thought about each other a lot. “I wonder what they are doing right now?” Marital law ended, their other relationships ended, and they returned to the university town. Fresh off the bus, they were walking down the main road and they literally bumped into each other. They both claim they wanted to hug and kiss the other person but it would not be appropriate. He asked her out. She accepted. They went to a movie where he bought her some peanuts, and so began their life-long relationship. December 7^th would have been 33 years married. They acted like two teenagers in love and their love story is my proof that true love- the kind you see in movies- does exist.

Ladies love the revolutionaries.

So my parents were in college in the Philippines during the Vietnam War. My dad said he would march in the protests not because he had beef with the U.S. government but because the ladies loved the revolutionaries. “Down with American Imperialism!” and the ladies would swoon. It’s ironic that he went on to join the U.S. Navy. J

Work hard. Play hard.

He was a workaholic but I wouldn’t say it was bad, although thank God Blackberries weren’t around when he was still working. I think it was because he could never turn off his brain. But still, he worked hard so he could play hard and every weekend (and quite a few week nights) you’d see him on the tennis courts for hours. He worked hard to take his family on vacation, take us to really cool places. I get my work ethic from both of my parents but he was definitely a model for me on how to balance work and life.

If you get a second chance (or third or fourth), make the best of it.

I didn’t know this until I was older but apparently my dad entered the University of the Philippines, the most prestigious university in the Philippines, as salutatorian of his high school class, to study engineering. He ended up being a Physics major. He partied a bit too hard and the engineering school kicked him out. The only school that would allow him back was the College of Arts and Sciences and that is how he became a Physics major. He was a brilliant man and it’s no surprise that he went on to get 2 postgraduate degrees during his career in the Navy. He took his second chance and did the best he could and I know it meant a lot to him that he was given that opportunity.

Look at the big picture.

I cried through my dad’s entire retirement ceremony from the Navy. These were not tears of joy but tears of disappointment that my dad did not stay in and go “for the glory,” as I told him, and get as far as he could. First Filipino supply corps admiral? I felt like he was walking away from his career and wouldn’t get the prestige that I felt he deserved. We had a big talk about it. At the time, his next posting would have been a move from Fairfax, VA to Corpus Christi, TX for my senior year of high school. He said he looked at the big picture of the move, its impacts beyond his career advancement, and decided it was time to move on from his career in the Navy and do what was best for his family here. After having been on a solid track in Fairfax County there was no way I’d be able to take the courses I needed to get into a good college in Texas. (Not that anything is wrong with Texas but I was looking at taking about 4 AP classes senior year that weren’t offered anywhere near Corpus Christi). What about VA schools? He could have gone alone for the year and left me and my mom in VA (Brian was at Old Dominion University at the time so he was away) but he couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from my mom for so long. And so it was, Mr. Practical, left his career as a Commander and went on to do some amazing things in the private sector. This is a lesson I’ve taken with me throughout my adult life, that I have to look at all the impacts of my decisions and do what’s best for all parties.

Always have plenty of toilet paper, water, and soap.

Did I mention he was a Supply officer? Commissary runs with my dad was like we were buying supplies to support a small village. Did we ever run out of essentials? Hell no. Our house was well stocked. For hungry teenagers, this was fabulous. As I’m finding with 2 itty bitties, you can never have too many wipes or crackers on hand. It’ll be interesting to see how that “essentials” list evolves as the kids get older.

Don’t wait to wear those clothes for special occasions.

My dad had dreams of being a singer upon his retirement. “Sitting at the dock of the bay” by Otis Redding was one of his theme songs. He dreamt of being a cafe singer in Hawaii, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, playing a ukulele, and hearing the ocean behind him. He had a stack of Hawaiian shirts that he kept for this specific occasion. He never got to wear the shirts. Lesson? Don’t wait to wear the clothes you want to wear or do the things you want to do. I have a couple of his shirts in my closet.

R.T.F.Q. and K.I.S.S.

God bless him, my dad had endless patience with me and math. I was pretty good at math until I got to Trig and Calculus where I might as well have been studying quantum physics. It was damn hard. There were times we’d be up late in our kitchen with endless papers around us with scribbles and marks and pencil points where he would point (with force) at formulas and say “RTFQ!” I was like, “what the hell does that mean?!” “Read The Fucking Question, Pamela!” Or he would look at my sad attempts at proofs and say, “Keep It Simple Stupid.” Throughout life I’ve written out these little abbreviations to myself if I am feeling a bit overwhelmed to remind myself to take a step back. My brother and I still laugh about these late night math lessons.

Remember your roots.

As a first-generation American, I always wondered what it was like for my parents to grow up in a developing country (is that P.C.?) and how it compared to how my brother and I were being raised. I loved hearing my dad’s stories of playing marbles with his brothers in the courtyard of their home or using sugar cane as a tooth brush (I think he told me the latter anecdote more to fuck with me than anything else. They weren’t that rural). When I was 10 we went to Hawaii on a family vacation and my dad climbed a coconut tree to get some fruit. Seriously? I had no idea he could do that. What I loved most about the Filipino connection was that no matter where we were or who they were, if my dad found a fellow Filipino whether it be in a grocery store or in a random city somewhere, he’d buddy up to them and before we knew it we’d be invited to this guy’s house for Christmas dinner with his family. We’re all related, right? I loved that my dad never forgot his roots and never held back in trying to share it with me and my brother. Does that mean I eat balut? Hell no. But I do remember him and my grandfather teasing me and my cousins with them.

Parenthood is not easy. Heck, life is not easy.

One of the last serious conversations I had with my dad was about him as a parent. I remember him thanking me for taking it easy on him and his parenting decisions because before he was a father he was just a man. He asked me to remember that he tried his best, to be the best father he could. That behavior extended throughout his life. He wasn’t perfect, he had his transgressions and his vices, but he knew them and he did his best by the people around him. I know that everything he did- making the Navy a career because it was the best way he could support his family (he didn’t intend on making it a career, but it just happened that way), moving us every couple of years- he did it all from a place of love and support. He did it all for us and I thank him. I thanked him all the time and I thank him daily now for the life he gave me and my family. In my eyes, he was a model father. He wasn’t perfect but he did his best and I try to live by that every day with my boys. (Mom, don’t think I’m not saying the same about you. You are absolutely the model mother and I can only hope to live up to the bar you have set for me).

Take care of the people most important to you.

I remember going to the Outer Banks the summer after 6^th grade with a few other families. This was our crew when we lived in Philly, a group of Navy families that have watched me grow up from a wee one. My dad would stand in the water up to his thighs and watch us all play in the sound (our house was on Hatteras Island on the sound side so we could play without the waves). My dad didn’t swim (funny for being a Navy man). In fact, he didn’t like going too far into the ocean, but there he was, wading in the sound watching my mom windsurf and my brother and I go crabbing. The look of happiness on his face was overwhelming. Going off of my previous point, he did everything he could to bring happiness to the people he cared most about. He pampered my mom with trips to Europe, weekend getaways, dinners out- all because he knew he made her happy. How can someone get so much joy out of seeing happiness on other’s faces, knowing he’s responsible for it? I understand it now with my own family. I like nothing more than seeing my boys (Thad included) and my friends happy. I am so grateful my parents taught me this lesson.

As I read this list, I can only hope that someday my children can look back at the lessons I am trying to instill in them and think fondly of me. I know this list of lessons can go on forever but I think this is enough for now. I am a better person because of my dad and I miss him so much that my soul aches. I know that he is watching over me raise my family and I can only hope he is proud of the person I have become. I miss you, daddy.